Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
