she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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