With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
