Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I looked at my own cervix.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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