SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
