Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
