kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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