eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just found puke in my bra..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
