I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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