I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he shaved USA in his pubs
i used baking grease as lip gloss
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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