dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
