i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
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so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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