I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We left the knife in your bed.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
