How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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