The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
