I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
