don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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