Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
