I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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