he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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