just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
