dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize