ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
