forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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