mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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