if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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