He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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