I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
nutella sex= disaster
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
