piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Buhtt sex?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
