I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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