are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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