the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
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Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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