I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
