she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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