New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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