Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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