Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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