Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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