Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
