It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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