textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
