he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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