If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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