What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
