i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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