yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
