I wish I could teleport
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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