yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
