question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
