We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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