I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
