I need help removing her.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
