Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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