They should really pass out barf bags in church
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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