woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize