I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
