He disabled his match.com account in front of me
that's an acceptable place to lick
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Enjoy the penises
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
