WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
