So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
