i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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