is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
