you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
