I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
