Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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