He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
