we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
