i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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