I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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